Posts Tagged ‘sweat’

gogoIt’s 3pm.. I am hitting that late afternoon wall at work.  I am totally not looking forward to my hour long drive home.  It’s the commute of death… 30 plus miles of cursing and finger flipping with the occasional good song on the radio to take my mind off murder.

I know I have to hit the gym before I head home but my brain just keeps saying… “SKIP, SKIP, SKIP…”

But wait a God Damned minute… I know what to do!  There is no way I can let myself skip another head bumping, Cancer preventing, muscle building, fat burning session at my favorite sweat shop… I run to the water cooler and grab a bottle of water.. I know what is waiting for me in my car… and I’ll be ready.

Quittin time rolls around and I pile into my Jeep.  I turn on my Sirius rotation to get my head in the game and I reach into my gym bag.  I pull out a zip lock bag with this beautiful pearly white powder all nestled in the corner of the bag.. in perfect pour position.  I dump the bottle of water into my shaker cup and then quickly dump the contents of the baggie.  I have to hold my breath though because I hate the smell of this shit.. makes me want to gag every time..but trust me, it’s worth it.

I shake the shit out of this stuff, because I hate that gritty residue that most powder supplements leave in your mouth.  Then I pop the lid and to my surprise (every time) the lid pops like a soda can.  Whatever is in this stuff has got pop from the second you finish shaking.  I never was a chugging expert.. in college I would be on the verge of puking every time I tried.  That said, this stuff tastes so nasty to me, I have no problem.  I unhinge my jaw like an Anaconda and pour this stuff right into my gut.

Ok, so by now you are probably thinking.. why the hell would he drink this stuff if it tastes like shit and doesn’t fully dissolve when shaking it?  Be patient my friends.. read on.

The directions say that a full serving is 2 scoops.  I don’t want to take changes being old and all.. you know, 41 years old is practically geriatric by gym standards.  So I go with 1 scoop to start.  Actually now, I am up to 1.5 and that seems to be perfect.  Says to wait 30-45 mins after guzzling to start your work out.  No problem there, I have at least that much on the highway to hell.

Approx 7 mins in… one of my favorite tunes comes on the radio and by now.. my cheeks are starting to feel warm.  I know that next up is usually my ears.  When they start to tingle like someone just hooked up the battery cables.. its GO TIME!

By the time I pull into the gym lot I am so amped up that I am practically sprinting to the locker room.  Imagine you have that super urgency to take a shit and you are running to get your pants down before your ass explodes… well it’s kind of like that.. I just thought that was funny.

Anyway, back on topic.  By now I am fumbling with my phone to get Pandora turned on, get my shorts and shirt on to hit the cardio.  I wanna get on that damn elliptical before this stuff wears off because I know that just an hour ago I was dreaming of my couch and another episode of whatever I DVR’d over the weekend.  Ok Ok… Im ready to ROC… ah..shit.. shorts are on backwards!!

Needless to say, in all seriousness.. I am happy I have discovered Pre-Workout supplements.  I don’t know if they are all safe or not, but the way I look at it is that it keeps me motivated and gets me to the gym.  When I am there I am amped up through my entire workout and it’s pushing me farther than I would go if I didn’t take a thing.  So for now, it’s my savior.  Hopefully I won’t burn out on the stuff, because it’s really keeping me positive in the sweat factory.